Sometimes, for whatever reason, despite all my preparation and planning and righteous desires of my heart, things don't go as I planned. But it is always (I later realize) for some reason. There was some complex lesson I needed to learn or some place I needed to be. Anyone had that happen?
This is the same with birth. Very few people get the exact birth they imagined (except maybe Rixa), and I truly believe it is because there is something that you or your baby needed to learn from that experience. It took me a long time to accept that despite my feelings about what happened at my birth, it was the exact right birth for us. (If you haven't read my birth story yet it is because up till now I haven't posted it. But I just posted a brief version of it back here.)
But the important thing to remember is that every birth is a miracle, and no one should feel like less of a woman because their baby needed to come in a certain way. One of the great things I heard at yoga teachers training was a story of a woman who, for whatever reason her no alternative but a c-section. She had wanted a natural, gentle birth, so this was not good news. Instead of being mad at God, she decided that she would sanctify her c-section and make it holy. She notified her doctor of her plans and he was supportive. To the hospital, she brought a CD of calming music that the baby was already familiar with from yoga class. She also brought wax electric candles (the hospital won't allow real ones), and she chanted a mantra during the operation and her husband held her hand and sang it with her. She told her doctor ahead of time that she wanted immediate skin on skin contact and wanted to breastfeed.
This is a much different picture than most of the c-section stories I have heard that were described as chaotic, traumatic, or "just surgery."
I would like to hear from the gallery about your experiences. First, what was something that happened that you didn't plan, but you later realized was for your good? Second, how did you sanctify your birth experiences, or what would you do in the future? I would love to hear your ideas.