A Father's Journey

The following story was submitted by Reid, father of 3 and one on the way. Please send us more stories, dads. Your voice is important.

"When we became pregnant with our first child, I knew next to nothing about pregnancy and birth. Over the course of that pregnancy, my wife and I read about birth, researched various birth topics, watched birth TV programs all in the hopes of making this birth the best experience possible. Despite all we learned, there was one thing I said over and over again: “There is no way I’d feel comfortable having a home birth.” Guess what happened two pregnancies later.

The main reason for my hesitation is queasiness. I don’t do so well with blood. I managed to do okay during our first birth (if you don’t count my slight light-headedness when the nurse couldn’t get the IV put in my wife’s hand). Our second birth was a little more difficult for me, but I made it through. I was relieved that I didn’t have any role to fill other than support for my wife. If we were to have a home birth, I’d feel more of a responsibility in the actual birthing of the baby. And what if the midwife didn’t make it in time? There would be no one other than me to deliver! I could not handle that.

So, what changed for me in order to feel comfortable with a home birth? There were a number of factors, and although it was not the deciding factor, it was the financial aspect that first allowed us to consider a home birth. Our insurance did not cover maternity care, so we would be paying out of pocket for all expenses, and this was going to be expensive. We began to explore other options, and we finally faced the idea of home birth. The difference in cost was very appealing, but we needed more than that to feel comfortable and confident having this birth at home.

It was the spirit and peace the Lord blessed us with that convinced us that having this baby at home was the right thing for us to do. This was by no means an easy decision for us, and one that we could not make alone. I still had my fears, and both of us had our misgivings and worries that something could go wrong. But we knew that God knew what was right for us. We are told in the Doctrine & Covenants, “Let them ask and they shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto them, and be made known from on high, even by the Comforter, whither they shall go” (D&C 75:27). So, after much thought and pondering, and feeling like a home birth was the path we were being led to, we went to the Lord in prayer to ask if it was right. After the prayer, we felt good about it, but my wife asked for a priesthood blessing for additional reassurance. Reassurance came when God told us that he would watch over us and keep us safe during the birth.

Over the course of the rest of that pregnancy, we occasionally had moments of worry and doubt, but that promise that the Lord gave us was something we could always fall back on. And that was enough for me to go into that birth calmly and comfortably, and come back out without the slightest bit of queasiness or light-headedness. God truly knows what is right for us all individually. Home birth is not going to be right fore everyone, but this was so right for us. I’m so glad we were led down this path. The Lord is so eager to help His children make these difficult decisions, and if we will but ask Him for assistance, He will guide us in the way we should go."